


They Always Leave

by Luv_Bowie_Luver



Series: Dream On [4]
Category: David Bowie (Musician), Dream On (TV 1990), Sir Roland Moorecock
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff, Sexual References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:57:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 11,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4020676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luv_Bowie_Luver/pseuds/Luv_Bowie_Luver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In need of a new PA, Sir Roland has the (un?)fortunate luck of meeting Nika, a polite yet chipper woman who wants to pitch a film idea to him. She is keen to please and eager for him to hear her out, so she agrees to become his new personal assistant. But she is quick to figure out just why Sir Roland has no real friends and the reason behind the string of quitting personal assistants..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bad Day

It was an overcast day when Nika arrived in town, she was wearing her favorite sun hat despite the cloudy weather because it had been a gift from her mother. Nika was very fond of her mother, they were like best friends or even sisters. She smiled happily as she got off the train, excitement in her eyes at the prospect of her first meeting with award winning film director, Sir Roland Moorecock. Nika glanced at her wrist watch, she still had plenty of time before she had to be at his home. She hurried over to a cab and got in, giving him directions to Sir Roland's mansion and then sitting back against the seat.  
  
  
In her mind, she was going over all the things she would talk about with Sir Roland and how pleased he was going to be to finally see her in person. She had been communicating with him indirectly via his personal assistant about a possible new film idea she wanted to pitch, but the PA had suddenly come down with the flu and all contact had ceased since then. But Nika was not discouraged, she would keep their arranged meeting and hope that the poor guy was feeling better.  
  
  
The cab eventually stopped outside such a huge mansion, Nika had to get out of the car to see it all. She happily paid the driver, then took her suitcase right up to Sir Roland's front door and rang the bell. Presently, the door opened slowly and Nika beamed excitedly at Sir Roland. He did not look very pleased to see her, but perhaps he didn't know who she was? They had not officially met, afterall.  
  
  
"Yes?" Roland asked her, looking at her hat in disgust and then back to her eyes, trying to figure out if he knew her or not.  
  
  
"Sir Roland, hello!" Nika greeted him cheerfully, "My name is Nika Wright.. "  
  
  
"Oh.. Of course," Roland looked as though he had just remembered her, "come in.. "  
  
  
"Thank you!" Nika smiled, walking inside as Roland stepped aside for her, "oh, if I may say so; you have a lovely home, Sir Roland." Roland closed the door and offered her a tight lipped smile.  
  
  
"You may," he spoke abruptly.  Nika awkwardly stood there for a few moments, unsure of what to say to him now.  
  
  
So many things she had rehearsed over and over, yet she now stood face to face with the man himself and all she could do was admire his impeccable taste in furniture?  She noticed he kept glancing at her hat and she suddenly brightened up again, perhaps she could use it as an ice breaker.  
  
  
"Do you like it?" Nika asked him, reaching up to stroke the long, black feathers that stuck out of it.  
  
  
"No," Roland said shortly, his gaze upon her hat once more.  
  
  
"Aw," Nika smiled, thinking he was just being playful, "what is wrong with it?" Sir Roland sighed heavily, why did people insist on asking this question?  
  
  
"Quite frankly it is the most hideous thing I have seen in the last few weeks," Roland answered her, "how anyone could consider wearing _dead poultry_ upon their heads _'fashionable_ ' is far beyond my understanding. To be honest, Ms. Wright, I am embarrassed for you."  Nika hesitated, uncertain if he was serious or just having a little joke at her expense.  
  
  
"Quite," she said nervously, removing the hat slowly, "but please, call me Nika."  
  
  
"If you wish," Roland said tiredly, "now, what can I do for you, Nika?"  
  
  
"I've been corresponding with your PA," replied Nika, "he told me it would be a good idea to meet in person. But he is sick with the flu, so I came anyway because I thought you and I could go over some things instead. I hope I wasn't too presumptuous?"  
  
  
"You were, actually," Roland told her sharply, "I have a personal assistant for that very reason, Nika. So I do not have to deal with people such as yourself. Now, if you would excuse me.. "  Nika wasn't sure what to make of this man, he was well dressed and had a beautiful home; yet his tongue was sharper than the blade of a razor.  
  
  
"Actually I was rather hoping to stay with you," Nika said uncertainly, "I'm only in town for a few days you see and.. "  
  
  
"There's a wonderful hotel on the other side of town," Roland told her, "why don't you go there and see if they have any rooms available?"  Nika got the distinct impression that she was being asked to leave and never return.  
  
  
"If it's all the same," Nika pressed him, "since I'm already here and all.. "  Roland uttered an exasperated sigh and gestured to the staircase on his left.  
  
  
"First door on your right," he said simply, walking out of the room and leaving her to it.  
  
  
Nika smiled to herself, that hadn't been too pleasant but perhaps she had simply caught him on a bad day.  
  
  
A _very_ bad day..


	2. The Dinner Date

She took her suitcase upstairs and found the bedroom Roland had assigned to her, it was lovely and comfortable; so she happily unpacked her things. Eventually, an irresistible aroma wafted upstairs and Nika ventured down into the dining room. She found Sir Roland already seated, awaiting his meal to be served to him and he looked at her curiously when she dared to join him.  
  
  
"Smells wonderful," Nika sighed, breathing in the delicious scent through her nose, "what are we having?"  
  
  
Sir Roland looked utterly mortified, but before he could say anything; his chef, Mark, brought in his dinner and set it down in front of him. To Roland's surprise, he also set a dish down in front of Nika as if he'd known she was going to be there.  
  
  
"Enjoy!" Mark smiled and quickly left the dining room.  
  
  
"Oh wow, Oh I love pheasant!" Nika said delightedly, picking up the correct silverware and politely beginning to eat her dinner.  
  
  
Sir Roland was quietly waiting for her to begin eating, for it was rude to start eating one's dinner before one's guests; so once she had started, he also picked up his knife and fork and began to eat. Mark soon returned with the wine and a couple of glasses, Nika looked up at him and smiled appreciatively.  
  
  
"This pheasant is divine!" she said to him as he filled her glass, "and with all the trimmings too! Thank you so much.. "  
  
  
"It is my pleasure," Mark replied, unused to such compliments. Roland picked up his glass, holding it while Mark poured the wine.  
  
  
"Leave the bottle," Roland told Mark when he straightened up to leave.  
  
  
"Of course," Mark nodded and set the bottle down on the table, then he left to go home for the night.  
  
  
"You must be so pleased to have such a wonderful chef, Roland!" Nika tried to engage him in conversation.  
  
  
Roland was not about to entertain her apparent theory that he was her friend, so he simply nodded politely and continued eating his meal. Nika felt awkward again, she wasn't wearing the offensive hat and she was sure that she didn't smell too badly. What was it that bothered him so?  
  
  
"I find it so amusing that we're having pheasant," Nika grinned.  Roland looked at her, as if he did not follow her.  
  
  
"Well, you said you didn't like dead poultry," mused Nika, "dead .. poultry .. like .. like a pheasant dinner .. " She chuckled. Roland leaned back, but he was not laughing.  
  
  
"I'm hardly _wearing it on my head_ , now am I?" he asked her calmly. Nika dropped her grin and blushed, embarrassed.  
  
  
She suddenly found herself thinking that, well yes; perhaps he might be wearing it upon his head if he spoke to her in that manner again..


	3. The Confrontation

After they had eaten, Nika placed the dishes into the dishwasher and heard the doorbell ring. She curiously went to the living room and sat down, watching as Sir Roland went to see who was at the front door.  
  
  
"Oliver, come in.. " Roland said and Nika smiled, for she knew who that was. Roland walked into the living room with his PA, but neither of them saw her sitting on the sofa because Oliver was speaking quite loudly to Sir Roland. He was shouting within moments of entering the mansion, Nika was silent as she watched the interaction between them.  
  
  
"And you know what else I'm sick of?" Oliver shouted, "I'm just plain sick of _you!_ "  Roland was just standing there, staring at Oliver silently.  
  
  
"You're an _asshole!_ " Oliver pointed at Roland, his hands shaking with anger, "I was _never_ sick with the flu! I just couldn't stand being around _here_ anymore! You're a vile, contemptible fiend, Roland. You will _never_ have friends and you know why? Because you're so _damned stupid_ , you don't even know when you've hurt someone's _feelings!_ Why is that, huh? I'll tell you why, because _you_ don't _have any!_ So you don't know what it's like to feel hurt! I am _sick_ of listening to your criticisms, _I quit!_ "  
  
  
He hesitated, then he made a fist and raised it but took a shaky breath and simply turned around; leaving the premises and slamming the door. Roland slowly turned his gaze to Nika, who was standing up and now she walked over to him.  
  
  
"Are.. Are you okay?" she ventured, "what was all that about?"  
  
  
"I'm fine," Roland shrugged it off, lifting his chin casually, "it was nothing. This happens from time to time, I go through quite a lot of personal assistants. They start out well enough but they just can't handle the job. Their minds are far too weak, you see. The pressure gets to them.. "  
  
  
"Oh," Nika was still worried about him, because he should have been at least slightly shaken by that sudden, unexpected outburst, "well, I could fill in for you temporarily, if you like?"  Roland looked her over, cool as a cucumber..  
  
  
"Do you have experience?" he asked her.  
  
  
"Of course," Nika replied with a smile, "I've dabbled in a few different positions."  She smiled suggestively at him, but the innuendo seemed to go right over Sir Roland's head.  
  
  
"Alright," he agreed, "just until I can find a more permanent PA, then."  
  
  
"You won't regret it," Nika promised him. Roland lifted a brow at her.  
  
  
"Why do I not believe you?" he asked her, turning on his heel and heading upstairs to shower before bed. Nika ground her teeth, she was starting to figure out why everyone quit the job and it had nothing to do with _pressure_ at all..  
  



	4. Staying On

The next day, Nika woke up feeling refreshed and keen to start over with Sir Roland. She was certain that after he'd showered and got a decent night's sleep, he would be much more sociable towards her. She gathered her things and took an early morning shower, she wrapped the towel around her body and exited the bathroom. Sir Roland was walking towards her, he faltered mid stride as she closed the bathroom door and turned to face him.  
  
  
"Oh!" Nika was startled by him, "good morning Roland! Do excuse me, I am so sorry.. "  
  
  
She hurried off into her room and shut the door, leaning against it with flushed cheeks. Roland stood there for a moment, unsure of what had just happened but he soon snapped out of it and stepped into the bathroom to take his own shower for the day. At the breakfast table, Nika was still feeling embarrassed but Sir Roland didn't mention it and she was quite thankful it didn't seem to have offended him.  
  
  
"So I think today would be a wonderful opportunity for us to sit down and talk about my idea," Nika spoke to him hopefully.  
  
  
"Why today?" asked Roland curiously. Nika looked at the window behind him, the sky was almost pitch black with storm clouds.  
  
  
"The um, the weather's getting pretty bad outside," Nika answered him gently, "I daresay you'll not be getting any visitors today."  
  
  
He seemed to accept her reasoning and they finished their meal in silence. A short time later, Nika and Roland sat in his office room where Nika told him about her ideas for a new film. He listened to her while she spoke, his body language expressing mild to casual interest and when she was done; Nika was tense while he sat in quiet thought.  
  
  
"I know it's kind of out there," Nika said gently, "so it's risky because you don't know how it's going to be received.. "  Roland looked at her and she stopped talking.  
  
  
"Most Original Film award," Roland spoke at last, "I like it. Where do I sign?"  Nika could not possibly have smiled any wider, she rummaged around in her bag and pulled out some papers. She placed them onto his desk and Roland slid them towards himself, looking them over briefly.  
  
  
"Everything seems to be in order," he said quietly. Nika held out a pen and he took it from her, their fingertips touching momentarily. Roland didn't seem to notice and signed the papers, looked them over once again and handed everything back to her. Nika accepted them, purposefully touching his hands as she did so and again; he didn't seem to notice.  
  
  
"Thank you Roland," Nika smiled at him, putting the papers back into her bag, "I look forward to working with you."  
  
  
"Under me," Roland corrected her. Nika blushed at a dirty thought that flashed into her mind.  
  
  
"Pardon?" she asked him.  
  
  
"You will be working under me," Roland told her firmly, "I don't work _alongside_ anyone."  
  
  
"Alright," Nika stood up as he came around from behind his desk, "I don't usually work that way but for you I will make an exception."  
  
  
"Oh?" Roland lifted a brow, "why is that?"  
  
  
"Well," Nika straightened his tie, even though it didn't need straightening and she looked at his eyes, "I thought perhaps you and I could.. I don't know.. maybe get to know each other a little better?"  
  
  
"What for?" asked Roland.  
  
  
"Well, we're going to see a lot of one another," Nika explained, "since we'll be working closely with each other, I thought it'd be a good idea."  Roland took a step back.  
  
  
"Nika," he said quietly, "you've got my signature, there's no need for you to stay here any longer."  
  
  
"Well, it's my train ticket," Nika said quickly, "they said it's a very busy time of the year and not to come back until the date I specified when I bought it." Roland looked at her for a moment as if he did not believe her, she almost came clean about it but then he shrugged.  
  
  
"Alright then," he said at last, "I suppose you'll be needing the name of that hotel I mentioned yesterday?"  
  
  
"Oh, um.. " Nika faltered.  
  
  
"It really is fabulous," Roland told her, "kind of like a home away from home."  
  
  
"Actually, Roland.. " Nika said softly, "I was kind of hoping to stay here.. with you."  Roland furrowed his brow and then sighed.  
  
  
"I suppose you'll have to," he said, a hint of irritation in his tone, "you couldn't afford it anyway."


	5. Thunder and Lightning

He turned and left the office, Nika ground her teeth and slowly followed him along the hallway. She jumped at the sound of thunder as it rolled across the sky, rumbling and vibrating through the floors of the mansion. Her heart began to thump, she'd always hated storms since she was very little and had never quite got over the fear. Roland barely took any notice of it as he went up to the third floor, Nika hesitated to follow him up there because it was that much closer to the thunder up there. Hesitantly, she crept up the stairs and then looked around. She had lost sight of him and there were so many doors along the hallway, she had no idea which one to look into.  
  
  
"Roland?" she tried to call out but her voice was barely a breath above a whisper.  
  
  
She did her best to calm her breathing, feeling an anxiety attack coming on because she was lost in a strange place and there was a terrifying thunderstorm outside. A huge flash of lightning caused a sudden blackout, the loud bang that erupted from somewhere outside made her squeal with fright. Her body began to tremble uncontrollably, tears welled up in her eyes and she started to hyperventilate. It was so pitch dark that she could not see anything at all, she froze in place and started to panic. She let out a short yelp when two strong hands held onto her upper arms firmly, she frantically thrashed out at her unseen attacker and screamed out for Roland to help.  
  
  
"Nika," his voice came from right in front of her and she instantly stopped hitting out at him.  
  
  
"Roland?" she whimpered. He let go of her arms and she stepped into him, hugging him tightly and relaxing against his body. She could not see him in the dark but she knew he wouldn't be looking very impressed right now and she felt very self conscious for it.  
  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I-I'm terrified of storms.. "  
  
  
"I noticed," he replied quietly, "the backup generators will kick in shortly."  
  
  
Nika was so glad that he'd came back for her, it was certainly unexpected. Another loud crashing sound made her heart leap into her throat, her entire body jumped in fright and she felt so stupid in that moment, like a little toddler cuddling up for comfort. Slowly, she felt his arms come around her and draw her tightly into his embrace. With wide eyes and thumping heart, she nuzzled into his chest and fell silent in dazed disbelief; the sound of his rhythmic heartbeat soothing her jolted nerves.  
  
  
Hesitantly, she lifted her head off his chest and tried to look up at him in the pitch darkness of the hallway. She sensed movement as he looked back at her, somehow her lips found his and after an awkward pause, she dared to kiss him. Roland offered her no resistance, responding naturally and tightening his embrace around her. Nika felt so much calmer now, the storm may as well have not even been there. Slowly, they drew back from the kiss and the lights began to flicker back on. Roland let her go and stepped back from her, averting his gaze.  
  
  
"There, you see?" he spoke as if nothing had happened, "I told you. Now come along, this way."  He turned and continued on into another room, Nika walked along behind him with quite wobbly knees and sat down in the first chair she came to. Roland stood over by the window, which kind of freaked Nika out a little because it was dangerous to be close to a window when there was lightning about. He turned and looked at her, as if trying to figure her out.  
  
  
"So what are you looking for, Nika?" he asked her, "a starring role?"  Nika was confused by his question.  
  
  
"What do you mean?" she asked him, "I don't want to be in the movie, Roland. I just want to work with you."  
  
  
"Under me," Roland corrected her again and she really could not help but blush again.  
  
  
"Of course," she looked him up and down, " _under_ you.. "  He looked uncomfortable, as if something unexpected was happening and he didn't quite know how to deal with it.  
  
  
"That's all?" he questioned her, "you don't want anything else? More money? Special mention?"  
  
  
"No," Nika replied quietly, "I've always been a huge admirer of yours, Roland. So when I heard you weren't busy, I saw my chance and I took it."  
  
  
"When do you want to get started?" Roland asked her, all business and no flirting back with her.  
  
  
"As soon as possible," Nika smiled at him, "um, but maybe after the storm has passed."  
  
  
"If you insist," Roland said flippantly, "in the meantime, I'm not paying you to sit down."  Nika slowly got to her feet, but she wasn't sure what he expected her to be doing right now. Roland gestured to the phone and she walked over to it, sitting at the desk.  
  
  
"We're going to need a cast," he told her firmly, "and a decent crew. See what you can dig up, I'll be downstairs."  
  
  
He promptly left the room and Nika sighed, picking up the phone. Of course, she was the new PA and that meant she had to deal with people so that Roland didn't have to. She was happy to do it, but she didn't want to be stuck up here in the third floor office all by herself.


	6. So Many Questions

Around lunchtime, Nika had called and let quite a few people know that Sir Roland was looking for a cast and crew. Agencies were notified and some interested people had already called her back and expressed their eagerness to come aboard. The storm was quiet during her time alone, for the most part anyway and now that she was getting hungry; Nika left the office and tried to find her way back downstairs to the first floor. She got lost several times, but finally found the correct path and felt instant relief when she walked into the living room. Roland was sitting in an armchair, flipping through a magazine and he glanced up at her as she sat down across from him.  
  
  
"How's it going?" he asked her.  
  
  
"Good!" Nika smiled, "great! A lot of people are keen to audition already."  
  
  
Roland nodded and turned his gaze back to the magazine, Nika sat back and smelled something cooking in the kitchen. She found Roland rather quiet just now, he didn't really say much to her and she found herself gazing at him curiously. She had always been a huge fan of his films, but there was very little else to go on when it came to personal information. The interviews were rare and short, his answers were generally short and to the point. She was both frustrated and intrigued at the same time, he was quite the mysterious person and seemed to always have his guard up. Not letting anyone in, not allowing anyone to get too close and always keeping people at arm's length. She wanted to get to know him on a more personal level, not just to work with him but to understand him.  
  
  
What drove him? What inspired him? Why was he so damned good looking?  Nika blinked and averted her eyes away from Sir Roland, licking her lips as she absently thought about the way his had tasted when they'd kissed in the dark. He behaved now as though it hadn't happened, but Nika wanted to experience it again. She looked around the room and suddenly became acutely aware of just how huge and silent the entire building was. She tried to imagine living here, all alone without a friend in the world to listen to her problems and worries.  
  
  
Nobody to talk to, eating meals alone at the table day after day. Did anyone even come here at Christmas? She shivered at the thought of spending the holiday by herself, yet he did it without so much as a visible care at all. Nika felt that it was quite sad actually, that he considered such loneliness to be normal. He clearly craved human contact, for he often threw parties and invited people to his multiple mansions all over the world. Then she suddenly felt terrible, because in a few days she would be walking out on him, too. She looked at him now, was that why he had cooled off so quickly?  It sort of made sense to her, he didn't want to get involved with her because she was leaving soon.  
  
  
Of course, that just _had_ to be it..

 

Sir Roland set down his magazine and glanced at his watch, stood up and turned but then he paused and looked back at her.  
  
  
"Shall we?" he invited her. Nika got to her feet and they walked into the dining room together, sitting across from one another as Mark gave them each a plate of food for lunch. He left them a pitcher of water and two glasses half filled, then he quickly exited the mansion and would not return until it was time to begin making dinner.  
  
  
"I really think this film is going to take off," Nika said happily. Roland seemed to agree because he did not argue with her, Nika watched him whenever he wasn't looking at her and she really hoped that he would at least talk to her again soon. But then, his mind was probably filled with everything that needed to be done in order to get the movie made in the best way he could imagine. That was something that had always drawn Nika to his films, his attention to detail and his strict passion for everything to be just as he'd visualized it in his mind.  
  
  
"Roland, about before," Nika wanted to clear the air and know where she stood with him.  
  
  
"It's alright, Nika," Roland pushed his plate aside, "I forgive you."  
  
  
He stood up and excused himself from the table, leaving her feeling slightly puzzled as to why he felt the need to forgive her. What had she done?  
  



	7. Do Your Job!

She found him a little later on, standing by a huge fireplace and just staring into it. Nika felt warmed by the flames as she approached him, but she didn't want to interrupt him because he looked so completely absorbed in thought. Roland slowly looked up into her eyes as he realized she was there, why did she insist on following him around? Nika had to wonder what he was thinking about, he looked so hopelessly lost in those few brief seconds before his gaze focused and he acknowledged her presence beside him.  
  
  
"I'm here if you ever feel like talking about anything," Nika told him quietly, "it won't leave this room, I promise."  
  
  
She gave his upper arm a gentle squeeze and silently padded over to sit down in an armchair nearby. Sir Roland returned his gaze back to the flickering flames in the fireplace, the bright orange reflections dancing within his eyes and Nika felt a surge of affection towards him. It was in these quiet moments when Roland was unguarded that she could get a glimpse into his world, however brief the glimpse may be and it fascinated her. Of course she knew he would never open up to anyone, but just to give him the option to do so would perhaps allow him to have a sense of choice.  
  
  
He could talk to nobody about his problems and worries because there just wasn't anyone there for him. So Nika put herself there, giving him the option, should it ever become too much for him. He'd been so strong for who knows how many years? Something had clearly shocked him into himself, the walls had possibly been building up around him since perhaps childhood and now they were so well defended that he seemed to have forgotten how to escape.  
  
  
"Nika," his voice startled her as she had been so deep in thought about him.  
  
  
"Yes?" she glanced up, hoping he'd talk to her and let it out. His gaze met with hers and she felt her heart thumping.  
  
  
"Please don't touch me," Roland spoke softly and silently left the room.  
  
  
Nika stared after him and furrowed her brow, more confused now than she had been before.  
  
  
*

  
  
Nika was reluctant to go upstairs by herself during a storm, so she kept herself busy by tidying up wherever she found something slightly out of place. Sir Roland kept quite the immaculate home, it was difficult for her to find anything to do at all. What on Earth did he need a personal assistant for, other than to answer the phone when he didn't want to?  Nika paused, of course.. For company, perhaps?  She decided to go and find him and see if he needed anything. She wandered around for a long time, but she could not seem to find Roland anywhere.  
  
  
"I need to get a beeper for that man," she muttered to herself, rounding a corner and stopping short as she almost ran right into him.  
  
  
"Roland!" Nika breathed, her heart thumping, "I was just looking for you."  
  
  
"What is it?" he asked her, apparently unphased by her sudden appearance.  
  
  
"I um, was there anything you needed?" Nika asked him, "I feel so useless."  
  
  
"Well, if the shoe fits.. " Roland snarked and walked around her, continuing on his way, "I've just come from the third floor, the phone has been ringing for over an hour now!"  Nika followed him and mentally kicked herself.  
  
  
"I am so sorry," she hurried to catch up with him, "I didn't hear it."  
  
  
"Of course not," Roland spun around to face her and she had to stop short again, "you were on the wrong floor!"  
  



	8. Scotch Talks

A rumble of thunder boomed just then and a flash of lightning lit up his eyes, making him appear quite frightening in that instant. Nika jumped involuntarily, but Roland did not say anything more and simply went into the living room ahead of her. Nika slowly walked after him, ashamed of herself for being so damned terrified of storms that she had let him down. She went into the kitchen, determined to make it up to him somehow.  
  
  
Looking around, she found some scotch and poured him a glass. She figured he could use a stiff drink after talking on the phone for so long, she took it in to him and set it on the coffee table. Roland looked up from the newspaper, set it down and took the glass, downing the scotch quickly. Nika was surprised, but she'd brought the bottle in with her and refilled his glass. Sir Roland took it more slowly this time, though. She sat down across from him and imagined him getting tipsy, perhaps it might loosen his tongue..  She set the bottle down onto the coffee table, to encourage him to have some more.  
  
  
"Should the weather clear by tomorrow morning," Roland informed her, "I shall be casting for the lead role before noon."  
  
  
"Alright," Nika smiled and nodded at him, watching him finish the drink and she picked up the bottle but he set down the glass and sat back. She refilled it anyway and he looked at her curiously as she did so.  
  
  
"Would you like some?" he invited her to drink with him, as he so often drank alone. She handed him back his glass and he accepted it, Nika blushed lightly at his offer.  
  
  
"Sure," she nodded, "thank you.. "  
  
  
She went and got another glass, poured herself some scotch and drank with him for a while. They quietly discussed a few ideas for the film and Roland told her what he was looking for as far as the cast went. Nika was amazed at the level of detail he got into, right down to the finer points of acting that she hadn't even thought of yet.  
  
  
"Wow," she breathed, "I'm impressed!"  Roland sat back with a hazy kind of smirk and Nika decided he was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol.  
  
  
"Don't sound so surprised, Nika," Roland scolded her softly, "it's offensive to think that you of all people would be unaware of my genius." Nika smiled at him broadly, he was definitely drunk.  
  
  
"Why me of all people, Roland?" she asked him amusedly. Roland leaned forwards and set down his glass, looking her in the eye.  
  
  
"You've seen all of my films," he reminded her, standing up.  
  
  
"Indeed I have," Nika confirmed, also getting to her feet, "over and over again.. "  
  
  
She held his gaze, slowly closing the gap between them until she was just inches away from him. He slowly averted his gaze from hers and she touched his chin, but he wouldn't turn back to her.  
  
  
"You have such beautiful eyes, Roland," Nika whispered softly.  
  
  
"No I don't," Roland replied quietly, pushing her hand away.  
  
  
"Yes," Nika spoke firmly, "you do!"  She reached up and lightly touched his face, encouraging him to look back to her again.  
  
  
"Let me see them," she said softly. His gaze flicked back to hers and she smiled at him, his eyes really were amazing to her.  
  
  
"You shouldn't be ashamed to show them off," Nika said to him, as he often hid them behind tinted glasses when there were a lot of people around, "they're incredib-.. "  
  
  
He leaned in and kissed her lips, his hands coming to rest on her hips. Slowly, Nika put her hands on his waist and kissed him back. They stood for several moments, kissing softly and then they drew back to look into one another's eyes once more.  
  
  
"Nika," Roland spoke her name quietly, a hint of desire in his tone that sent a thrill down her spine. She took him by the hand and led him into her bedroom, closing the door behind them..


	9. It's Just The Alcohol

Nika felt completely exhausted, twice in the bed and then once more in the shower. She had no idea Roland had such sexual prowess, he always acted so indifferently towards people; whether they were screaming at him or flirting with him and everything inbetween. He always just stood there and acted like it just didn't matter. Like he didn't even care.  
  
  
She was sitting with him now at the dinner table, he was talking to her again about the film and now that he had some food in him; he wasn't quite so drunk anymore and she found it fascinating how well he could hold his liquor.She was listening to him, but failing to pay attention completely. All she could think about was how his body had felt against hers, the firm yet gentle touch of his hands and the softness of his kisses. His moans, oh but she could listen to them all day and still be aroused by them..  
  
  
"Well?" Roland asked her, slightly impatient. Nika sat up straight, blinking suddenly as she'd been staring off at nothing.  
  
  
"Um.. " she blushed, "come again?"  Roland looked annoyed with her.  
  
  
"Are you done?" he asked her.  
  
  
"Oh! Yes, I'm done," Nika nodded, pushing her plate away. She gazed at his lips and sighed softly, she was _so_ done..  
  
  
Mark presently brought them some kind of fancy dessert that Nika had never seen before, she wasn't even sure how to eat it and Roland watched her in apparent amusement as she turned the bowl around and around; trying to decide where to put her spoon first. He stood up and came around to her side of the table, sat down beside her and turned his chair around to face her. Without a single word, he took the spoon from her hand and set it down onto the table. He took up a fork and cracked open the dessert, then he held it up and Nika opened her mouth as he fed her just a little of it. She found it tasted very pleasant, but it was his amused smile that really made her heart beat rapidly. She picked up a clean fork and used it on the dessert, lifting it to his mouth and he let her feed it to him just once. Nika giggled quietly and they ended up making out again, just softly and slowly at the table.  
  
  
Mark was about to walk in when he saw them, so he stopped abruptly and backed silently out again with an expression of pure shock.  
  
  
"I need a holiday," he muttered, putting his cooking utensils away, "I'm hallucinating!"  
  
  
Nika touched Roland's cheek as he drew back from her, her heart pounding so hard that it felt like it was in her throat!  He slowly stood up and returned to his seat, but he didn't look at her again until after they had finished and were sitting back in the living room.  
  
  
"I'm so excited about tomorrow," Nika told him again, "it's always been a dream of mine to work on a film project under you." Roland inclined his head.  
  
  
"What if I asked you to leave?" he said suddenly.  Nika looked a bit lost.  
  
  
"Why would you do that?" she questioned him.  
  
  
"Essentially it is my film now," Roland told her, "I don't need your help. I don't require your input. So what if I asked you to leave?"  Nika was taken aback by his sudden shift in attitude towards her.  
  
  
"Well," she spoke carefully, "I.. um.. "  She frowned and set her jaw, looking at him firmly.  
  
  
"No," she said confidently, "you are not pushing me out of this, it was my idea you know.. " Roland sat back, smirking at her and Nika sighed with relief, she'd just been goaded and she hadn't even realized it.  
  
  
"Oh so you think you're funny, huh?" Nika asked him and Roland lifted a brow in confirmation, still smirking at her. She stood up and approached him with every intent to tell him off but he grabbed her and she squealed as he pulled her down onto the sofa...


	10. The Hangover

The next morning, Nika woke up with a smile on her face that she was certain could never be wiped off. Four times.. _Four!_ She got up out of bed and felt her knees almost buckle under her, still satisfied from yesterday's multiple orgasms. She slowly made her way to the shower, then she ventured downstairs to join Roland for breakfast. He was wearing his dark shades and he wasn't smiling, Nika figured he had a King-Hangover and decided he wasn't up for a conversation just now; so she ate in silence and waited for him to acknowledge her first. She hadn't had much to drink yesterday, mostly she had just nursed the one glass and barely took a sip every now and then, so she was unaffected in any way by the alcohol at all.  
  
  
Yesterday had been amazing and she would never forget it, not for anything. He had shown her a side of himself that she absolutely wanted to see again, but there was a catch. As she was about to learn, Roland was only like that because he'd been drinking just a bit too much.  
  
  
Now, as he sat and ignored her completely, Roland was back to his usual self. Even his chef, Mark, had left very quickly this morning. The storm had cleared last night and the day was as bright as ever, much to Nika's relief. As far as she was concerned, she and Roland were an item now and she considered him her lover. She was even thinking of staying longer than planned, especially if he needed her to continue as his PA, which she didn't think of as a job because she liked to be with him.  
  
  
"So where are we casting today?" she asked him, after he hadn't spoken to her during the entire meal.  
  
  
"I have a studio not far from here," Roland answered her tiredly, picking up a couple of aspirin that Mark had left for him and taking them with a glass of water. Nika smiled fondly at him, she felt bad for getting him drunk but she wasn't sorry.  
  
  
"I had a really great time with you yesterday," she said quietly. Roland sat back and stood up, excused himself from the table and left the dining room. Nika finished her breakfast, feeling a little out of the loop again. Was he angry with her now?


	11. They Always Leave

At the studio, Nika stood nearby to where Roland was seated but he hadn't really said anything to her for hours except to tell her what to do. She did as he asked of her, still confused as to the sudden change in attitude towards her. She was watching the people as they stood in front of him, casting wasn't something Roland was particularly fond of doing. He much preferred to leave it to someone else but he was so fussy with his actors that he had been forced to just get out there and do it himself. The first several auditions went terribly, so badly in fact that Roland called for a break. He seemed quite upset, more so than usual.  
  
  
"Why do you insist on torturing me?" he demanded. There was a man standing in front of him, shaking nervously.  
  
  
"Sir Roland, I.. " he started.  
  
  
"You what?" Roland snapped at him, "your agency promised me quality actors! So far I've seen a man with the acting talents of a _stunned baboon_ , a woman who _clearly_ has no idea what role she's even trying out for.. "  
  
  
The people who Roland was talking about were standing just a few feet away, in clear earshot of his ranting. Nika felt very sorry for them, they were quite embarrassed and one of them had even burst into tears. Roland continued on and the man from the agency just looked like he was about to run away screaming with his hands over his ears, it was almost too much to take in. Why was he behaving this way? Nika quietly approached Roland, who was still complaining at the poor agency man, she took his arm gently and he looked at her so fiercely that she instantly let him go.  
  
  
"What is it?" he asked her sharply, "can't you see I'm busy?"  Nika took a deep breath.  
  
  
"Roland, maybe we should take five.. " Nika suggested.  
  
  
"An _excellent_ idea," the agency man said, quickly ushering the failed actors out of the studio. Roland looked positively livid.  
  
  
"You had _no right_ to make that call," he told Nika firmly, "who do you think you are?" He walked past her and left her standing there feeling close to tears.  
  
  
"You must be the newest PA," smirked a woman, walking over to Nika, "I'm Jackie.. "  Nika forced a smile.  
  
  
"Nika," she introduced herself, "and what did you mean by _newest_?"  
  
  
"Roland goes through PAs quicker than my dog goes through his dinner," Jackie smiled pleasantly at Nika.  
  
  
"What? But he's so.. " Nika hesitated, because today he wasn't so charming as he had been yesterday.  
  
  
"Cute?" Jackie tried to guess what Nika had been about to say, "yeah, he's definitely fuckable."  Nika blushed.  
  
  
"I love my job," Nika said defensively, "Roland's a good person really, he's just hungover."  
  
  
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," grinned Jackie, "you will leave. Everyone always does."  
  
  
She turned and walked away, leaving Nika staring like a goldfish with her mouth open. Jackie had sounded so damn sure that Nika would quit her job with Roland, so Nika would set out to prove her wrong. She had seen Roland, the real one.. Or was it? Which personality was honestly his? She was curious to find out, but part of her really didn't want to know the truth; for she had already seen it for herself and simply refused to believe it.  
  



	12. Get Out

That evening at dinner, Nika was mindful of Roland's mood. He seemed calmer now that he was home again, so she decided to try and talk to him properly again. He'd been barking orders at her and everyone else all day, so perhaps now that work was over he might be more inclined to listen to her.  
  
  
"How are you feeling?" she asked him. Roland glanced up from his meal.  
  
  
"Exhausted," he replied shortly.  
  
  
"Me too," Nika agreed, "maybe an early night is in order?" He offered her a slight nod but said nothing.  
  
  
"Can we talk about yesterday?" Nika dared to ask him. Roland sighed audibly, clearly unimpressed.  
  
  
"I don't remember much," he told her. Then he got up and quietly left the dining room, not bothering with dessert. Nika heard him going upstairs to take his usual shower before bed.  
  
  
"You alright?" Mark ventured, walking in with just one dessert and placing it front of her.  
  
  
"I'm a bit confused is all," Nika replied.  
  
  
"That's completely normal," Mark assured her, "if you want my advice?"  
  
  
"Please," Nika agreed, "you must know him quite well, being here three times a day.. "  
  
  
"I'm afraid not," Mark told her, "I am just the chef, not his therapist."  
  
  
"He has a therapist?" asked Nika.  
  
  
"No, but he sure could use one," Mark replied, "look, you're a sweet girl. Get out, there's nothing for you here." Nika was surprised at him.  
  
  
"There's no need to be rude!" she frowned at him.  
  
  
"I'm doing you a favor," Mark told her, "trust me, I've seen it happen time and time again. Every PA Roland has ever had always leaves either in tears or screaming in his face. Look around, Nika.. Do you notice the lack of human beings exchanging pleasantries with him? Have you seen anyone being friendly with him? He's got no friends for a reason, Nika."  
  
  
"Just stop right there," Nika spoke sharply, "how can you say such things? If you were my chef, I'd fire you! How dare you?"  
  
  
Nika was very concerned, if Mark didn't like Roland and was this vocal about it behind his back; she worried that he might do something to Roland's food one day. But Mark was a professional chef and he took pride in his work, he would never risk his career.  
  
  
"Have it your way, Nika," shrugged Mark, "you're just gonna get hurt."  
  
  
He looked genuinely sad for her and went home for the night, Nika suddenly didn't want her dessert and instead she hurried upstairs to see Roland before he went to bed.


	13. Wants and Needs

She tried not to feel turned on as he emerged wearing nothing but his bathrobe, just as she rounded the corner.  
  
  
"Roland," she acted causal, "I'm glad I caught you.. "  Roland looked at her, she knew he wasn't pleased but his wet hair and the way he was just so dressed down, it made her heart skip a beat that he seemed so.. so _normal_.  
  
  
"Well?" he demanded. Nika snapped out of it and remembered to blink, suddenly blushing.  
  
  
"I wanted to let you know that you really can depend on me, Roland," Nika told him firmly, "I'm no quitter, I promise you." He looked her over, as if he'd never seen her before.  
  
  
"And?" he asked her with an annoyed expression. Nika faltered, she hadn't quite expected that.  
  
  
"Roland, I hate to say it but I might be the only person who really cares for you right now," Nika spoke boldly but she was shaking nervously, "please don't push me away."  
  
  
"Push you away?" Roland repeated, "we were never close! You are just some nobody I have had the unfortunate luck of meeting! I didn't ask you to come here, I don't _want_ you!" He turned sharply and walked towards his bedroom.  
  
  
"Roland!" Nika called after him but he slammed the door shut.  
  
  
Nika leaned against the wall, she felt like her heart was breaking and it made her feel so stupid that perhaps Mark was right afterall. She slowly went to her room, buried her face into the pillows and started crying. She sat up after a few minutes and hugged the pillow, closing her eyes. She imagined she was hugging Roland, but it wasn't the same. His embrace was so much warmer, it made her feel so safe and loved.  
  
  
"Maybe you don't want me, Roland," Nika whispered, drying her tears, "but you sure as Hell do _need_ me."


	14. Perks of the Job

The next morning, Nika half expected an apology from Roland but she didn't get one. She wasn't sure how he would be today, he wasn't hungover or anything and still he refused to even look at her during breakfast.  
  
  
"Roland.. " she began and he simply left the table.  
  
  
She sighed, frustrated. How could she possibly work like this? She caught herself before she continued on with that train of thought, because it was leading to asking the question: _Why am I still here?_ No.  She wasn't going to just walk out on him, he needed someone to be there for him and she was determined to be that someone. Even if he honestly believed she was a nobody, you didn't need to be famous to be a somebody. She would show him this, or at least try to. She couldn't make him see anything if he chose not to look, but she had to make the attempt or she'd never be able to sleep at night while wondering _'what if?'_  
  
  
*  
  
  
Roland clearly wasn't in the mood for the auditions today, either. If yesterday was bad, today was worse.  
  
  
"Why is that man tap dancing?" Roland asked quietly.  
  
  
"Uhm.. I-I'm not sure," Nika replied.  
  
  
"This isn't a musical!" Roland stood up, " _get out!_ "  
  
  
Nika startled, as did several others. Roland rarely ever shouted, though whenever things got heated between himself and another person; his PA usually got in the middle and calmed things down. The man hurried out of the studio and Roland sat down again, shooting his fiery stare over to the waiting would-be stars. There were some shuffles and finally, someone was shoved out onto the set.  
  
  
"Come on," Roland gestured impatiently for her to begin.  
  
  
He was looking for the lead male role and the lead female role first up, so far nobody had managed to excite him yet. Nika watched as the woman played out a scene from the script, with someone from Roland's crew temporarily stepping in to play the role of whoever else was in the scene. Nika's gaze flicked to Roland, who was watching the woman also, but very much more intently. She had at first thought that Roland was purposefully trying to be intimidating, but as she soon came to realize; he was actually paying very close attention to the auditionees. He really knew what he was looking for and Nika never would question his judgment, she just wished he would find a better way to dish it out. Roland stood up when the woman was done, he walked over to her and she looked so scared that Nika honestly believed she might wet herself.  
  
  
"Fabulous!" Roland exclaimed, much to the surprise and delight of the woman.  
  
  
Nika couldn't hear what he said to her next, but she squealed with happiness and rushed off to tell her friends the good news. Roland walked over to Nika then, telling her quietly to let everyone know the role for lead female had been fulfilled. Nika swallowed nervously as he went off to take a break, leaving her to deliver the disappointing news to all the hopefuls still waiting in the wings. Nika sighed, this job really _sucked_ at times..  



	15. He's Dead Inside

Later, when everyone was almost gone and things had been packed away; Jackie approached Nika again.  
  
  
"I'm surprised to see you still here," Jackie smirked.  
  
  
"What is your problem?" Nika demanded.  
  
  
"No problem," Jackie shrugged, "only, I used to be Roland's PA a while back."  
  
  
"I figured as much," Nika lifted her chin, "what's the matter? Couldn't hack it?"  Jackie stopped smirking.  
  
  
"You won't be so smug when it happens," Jackie warned her.  
  
  
"When what happens?" asked Nika.  
  
  
"That moment when you realize the body is still warm but the soul is long gone," Jackie spoke quietly, giving Nika the creeps, "it'll happen to you, too. You'll see it and you'll run. They all run.. "   Jackie walked away and Nika looked back at Sir Roland, who was smoking by the doorway.  
  
  
"Something wrong, Nika?" asked Roland.  
  
  
"No," she replied uncertainly, "nothing.. "  She walked over to him and tried not to let Jackie's words get to her.  
  
  
"Do you know a woman named Jackie?" Nika asked him.  
  
  
"Doesn't ring a bell," Roland spoke casually and led the way back out to the car.  
  



	16. I Love You

Nika was silent on the drive home and even said nothing during dinner, she waited for Roland to ask her why she was so quiet but he said not a word to her all evening.  
  
  
*  
  
  
It was almost time he would be going for his shower, when Nika approached him in one of the second floor rooms. He was staring out the window, watching lightning flash across the sky some distance away.  
  
  
"Roland?" she ventured. He jumped, turning his head sharply.  
  
  
"Sorry," Nika apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you."  
  
  
"Then I suggest you knock in future!" Roland scolded her firmly.  
  
  
"Of course," Nika agreed, "I'll remember that." He looked at her expectantly, somehow she had expected him to turn back towards the window while she spoke to him but he had his complete attention focused upon her. It was nice, it showed her that he was listening.  
  
  
"I know you didn't mean what you said to me," Nika told him.  
  
  
"I always mean what I say," Roland spoke evenly.  
  
  
"Even when you're drunk?" Nika trapped him. Roland held her gaze, his expression unreadable. Nika took out her train ticket and held it up for him to see, then she slowly tore it up and the pieces littered onto the floor like snowflakes.  
  
  
"I'm not leaving you, Roland," Nika told him confidently, "I want you. I care about you." She hesitated, her eyes big and glossy as she tried not to let the tears of emotion that welled up in her eyes fall.  
  
  
"I believe that you and I could really work," Nika confessed quietly, "I've seen you, the real you and I.. I love you."  
  
  
Somebody had once told her that the truth always came out when a person got drunk, so Nika believed that what she saw when Roland was drunk; she had seen his true nature. She believed that he was hiding away behind this other version of himself, but to what end she did not have a clue. Roland looked as though he didn't know what to make of it.  
  
  
"Nika.. I.. " he faltered, searching for the right words, "I honestly just don't know what to say."  Nika smiled gently at him and stepped closer, looking into his eyes.  
  
  
"Just say what you feel," Nika told him, "close your eyes, Roland, and tell me the first thing that comes to your mind."  Roland stared at her for a moment, then he slowly closed his eyes.  
  
  
"Nika.. " he said softly.  
  
  
"Yes?" she whispered, her heart beating rapidly.  
  
  
"Clean that up!" Roland's eyes snapped open and he walked around her, leaving the room abruptly.  
  
  
Nika looked around in a daze, unsure of what had just happened. She knelt down and picked up the pieces of her ticket, hot, wet tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt as though she were picking up the pieces of her broken heart, Jackie's words were now echoing in her mind loud and clear. And yet she was still determined. No matter what anyone said, she'd seen it for herself and she couldn't deny her own eyes. He was _testing_ her and she would pass the test, no matter how hard it got.  
  



	17. A Frightening Truth

The next few weeks were rough, Nika barely got to speak to Roland alone and whenever she finally had a moment to rest; he was either busy or asleep. He refused to speak during meals and avoided her wherever possible. It was around lunchtime one day, when Nika had the misfortune of running into Jackie again. She had managed to keep away from the strange woman for a long time, but now they stood at the water cooler together.  
  
  
"I must admit I am impressed," Jackie said to her with a smile, "nobody's ever lasted this long. What's your secret?"  
  
  
"There's no secret," Nika frowned, "I told you already, he's.. " She sighed and trailed off, too tired to be bothered arguing.  
  
  
"He's avoiding you, isn't he?" asked Jackie. Nika gave her a short nod, lowering her gaze.  
  
  
"What'd you do?" asked Jackie.  
  
  
"I don't know!" Nika replied, frustrated.  
  
  
"I hope I'm not being too personal but, did you kiss him?" Jackie asked her. Nika looked at her curiously but Jackie was not smirking, she looked seriously interested.  
  
  
"Why?" asked Nika.  
  
  
"I kissed him once," Jackie admitted, "I thought he was okay with it but then he went so cold, I had to quit."  
  
  
"He did ask me not to touch him," Nika recalled, "but we.. "  She fidgeted and Jackie bit back a grin.  
  
  
"Oh, right.. " she said softly, "was he drinking?"  
  
  
"How did you know?" asked Nika.  
  
  
"He's different when he drinks too much," Jackie replied, "I honestly thought I had fallen in love with him myself, but then I realized I'd just fallen in love with the scotch."  Nika looked surprised.  
  
  
"That really scares me," Nika said quietly.  
  
  
"So now you see?" Jackie prompted her. Nika looked over at Sir Roland, she couldn't just get him drunk every single night just to see him smile lovingly at her. It'd kill him. He was talking to one of the camera men, pointing with his pen over at something on the set.  
  
  
"It's a shame," Jackie sighed, "he's intelligent, rich, successful, famous, cute, great in bed.. What a waste." She turned and walked away from the water cooler, leaving Nika to think about what she'd learned.


	18. Getting Heated

She slowly approached Roland, who was looking quite heated by now.  
  
  
".. but clearly you are such an oaf, you probably couldn't even pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel!" he was scolding a very nervous looking man, who had tried to get Sir Roland a glass of water and had spilled it on Roland's shoes.  
  
  
"I am so sorry!" the man wiped Roland's shoe with shaking hands, "I-I'll get you another one right away!"  
  
  
"Nevermind," Roland grumbled, turning to Nika, "ah, someone competent at last."  Nika forced a smile and got him a glass of water, handing it to him calmly. Roland took it and held it up to the nervous man, showing it to him.  
  
  
"That's how it's done," Roland said with a smirk. The man turned and walked away, sweat trickling down his face.  
  
  
"It's kind of hot today," Nika said to Roland, who drank the water slowly to avoid talking to her. Nika stood and waited, he couldn't keep drinking it forever..  
  
  
She followed him back to the set when he was called over, apparently there was a problem that needed his attention immediately.  
  
  
"It's no use, Sir," a camera man, Ray, told Roland, "there's no way we can get it working today." Roland looked at the camera, it was smoking and smelled a lot like burning ashes. He pressed a button and it popped open, some liquid oozed out of it and Ray scratched his head.  
  
  
"I just don't understand what could have happened!" Ray looked clueless.  
  
  
"It has melted," Roland informed him.  
  
  
"But.. I had it over there by the freezer!" Ray objected. Roland looked at the freezer, which was filled with ice for the water cooler machine.  
  
  
"That is the most idiotic thing I have heard all day!" Roland snapped.  
  
  
"What, why?" Ray asked, frowning, "I thought it was a good idea, freezers are cold, right?"  
  
  
"Only on the inside!" Roland raised his voice.  
  
  
"So.. what're you saying?" Ray asked.  
  
  
“I can explain it to you," Roland snarled at him, "but I can’t understand it for you." He walked away, clearly pissed off.  
  
  
"Roland!" Nika went after him, "wait!" She caught up to him and he turned around, his eyes flashing angrily.  
  
  
“If ignorance ever goes up to $5 a barrel, I want drilling rights to his head!" Roland told her sharply. Nika looked at him curiously, he seemed quite bothered and she wanted to send him home to cool off.  
  



	19. Songbirds

"Maybe we should leave the rest of the shoot for another day?" she suggested, "we still haven't found our vocal performer, and that's our next scene anyway."  
  
  
"I can be the singer!" said a woman who was standing nearby. Roland looked around at her and she cleared her throat.  
  
  
"My mother says I have the voice of an angel," the woman boasted, "my name is.. "  
  
  
"Just sing," Roland said, closing his eyes briefly with impatience. She faltered, then stepped back and started singing a few lines from the script. Roland winced, as if in pain.  
  
  
"Stop!" he called out, "stop singing! You sound like a cat being eaten by a shark!" The woman stopped abruptly, turning beet red as everyone had turned to listen during her song. She looked around and tried to appear nonchalant, but there were tears in her eyes that couldn't be hidden.  
  
  
"You know what?" she spoke evenly to Roland, glaring at him, "you should eat some of my make up so you can be pretty on the _inside_.” She spat on the floor right beside his shoe and left the studio in a huff. Everyone shifted off to return to whatever they'd been doing and Roland looked around at Nika.  
  
  
"I don't want to listen to any more singing today," he told her quietly. Nika walked past him and ushered the rest of the auditionees out of the studio, asking them to come back tomorrow. They grumbled and complained but Nika couldn't blame them.  
  
  
"Roland, they've been waiting in the heat all day," said Finn, the man in charge of the agency responsible for sending hopeful singers to films where vocals were needed. Roland grabbed the script, shook it in Finn's face angrily and threw it at him.  
  
  
"I asked for a crooner!" Roland growled at him, "you sent me a damned howler monkey!"  Nika hurried over and took Roland by the arm, urging him to come with her and she led him outside.  
  
  
"What is it??" he demanded, pulling his arm out of her grasp, "I've got work to do!"  
  
  
"Roland! You need to calm down!" Nika spoke firmly to him, "it's just too hot!"  
  
  
"Too hot to sing a few damned lines?!" Roland asked her sharply, "how hard is it?"  
  
  
"Oh and like, you could do better?" asked Nika. Roland smirked and cleared his throat, closed his eyes and Nika stood back uncertainly. Then Roland took a deep breath and sang a few lines from the song that was in the script. He opened his eyes when he was done, Nika was staring at him in amazement.  
  
  
"Easy," he told her flatly, "now, tell me again how it is too hot to, mff.. "  Nika suddenly kissed him, he stumbled back a little in surprise and she drew away from him slowly.  
  
  
"What do you think you're doing?!" Roland demanded.  
  
  
"I've been wanting to do that for weeks," Nika confessed, "but when you were singing just now.. Roland, you've got such a beautiful voice.. "  
  
  
"So you just had to slobber all over my face?" Roland looked at her as if she'd gone insane.


	20. The Fight

A man walked nervously over to them, interrupting their conversation. Roland turned sharply to look at him, a fire in his eyes but hidden behind his tinted shades.  
  
  
"Yes? What do you want?" Roland barked.  
  
  
"Um.. Um.. Um.. Um.. " the man was clearly terrified and Nika felt sorry for him.  
  
  
“Isn’t it rather dangerous to use one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?” Roland asked the man.  
  
  
"We'll be back inside in a minute," Nika told the embarrassed man, who nodded quickly and left with wide eyes and red cheeks.  
  
  
"That was not necessary," Nika said to Roland.  
  
  
"What would you know about necessity?" asked Roland.  
  
  
"Roland, I used to be so happy to wake up in the morning and come downstairs to work for you," Nika told him, "I thought to myself, wow.. I am so lucky to have such a great job and I even get paid to do it!"  Roland put his hands into his pockets and smirked.  
  
  
"I can't believe I pay you for what you do either," he mused. Nika raised her brows.  
  
  
"Excuse me?" she demanded.  
  
  
"I am actually jealous of people that don’t know you!” Roland said to her angrily.  
  
  
"Roland!" Nika raised her voice, "I work my fingers to the bone, just to serve you and you don't seem to care!"  
  
  
"I don't have to care!" Roland shouted, making her jump, "it's your job!"  Nika stood there for a moment, hurt.  
  
  
"Is that seriously all I am to you?" she asked him quietly, her voice trembling, "just another paycheck to dish out?"  Roland stared back at her, not saying anything more.  
  
  
"Let me tell you something," Nika spoke calmly, blinking back tears of heartache, "I am probably the most loyal person you will ever meet, Roland and you should never, ever push a loyal person to the point where they just don't give a fuck anymore!" Roland inclined his head.  
  
  
"Are you finished?" he asked her. Nika sighed heavily.  
  
  
"It's just in one ear and out the other with you, isn't it?" she asked him back.  
  
  
Roland lit up a cigarette, placing it carefully into a long, black holder. Nika walked back inside to deal with the crisis that was going on, as nobody knew what to do without Sir Roland to direct them.   
  



	21. I'll Be There For You

That night, Nika found him alone in a dimly lit office. He was standing over by the desk, a small fan sat upon it blowing around and humming softly. His gaze was distant, she wondered what he was thinking about. He looked so alone just standing there, not even facing the window and staring at apparently nothing. Who did he even have to turn to for comfort after a rough day? Not a soul.  
  
  
Nika watched him for a while and then softly knocked on the door frame. He looked at her and she entered the room, approaching him with determination.  
  
  
"If you've come to scream at me again, don't bother," Roland told her, "I've heard enough whiny, little.. "  
  
  
She stepped forwards and hugged him, resting her head upon his chest.  
  
  
Roland looked shocked, gently pushing at her but she held on tightly. He stood awkwardly for several moments, unsure of what to do. Nika felt her heart thumping with nerves and then.. His arms slowly came to embrace her and she closed her eyes, feeling the tension in his body disappear. There were no words needed, no exchange of glances.  
  
  
They relaxed into one another's embrace and Nika knew this was real because he hadn't been drinking. She waited for him to snap at her, waited for something mean to come to his mind and exit straight out of his mouth before he even gave it a second thought. But there was nothing, just his warm embrace and the low hum of the fan sitting upon the desk behind them.  
  
  
  
  
  
****  
  
=THE END=


End file.
